January 29
Hey what up everybody? I just want to thank you for being open and taking the time to check out my story. I am doing this for all those people out there who are searching and who know that there is something better out there apart from this crazy world we live in. People who desire purpose and fulfillment in this life, but who have not found it. Looking to fill the emptiness they feel in their hearts. People who are tired of just getting by and want their lives to mean something more.
My story begins in Lexington, KY where I was born and raised. I was a normal kid and had good parents, and so my childhood was all-good. I grew up going to a Catholic middle school and around my 6th, 7th, and 8th grade years I started listening to Nirvana, playing guitar, growing my hair out, and skateboarding. Because of this, I was a little different from the other kids I went to school with, and they started making fun of me. Some of the cruel words they said would bring me to tears. All of my friends from years before had now turned their backs on me. They would also throw things at me. I remember one time when I was headed back from recess, I got drilled in the head with a huge rock and had to go home early that day because of what they did to me.
I hated those kids and I was angry all the time because of them. They completely destroyed my self-esteem and made me hate myself. I started listening to bands like Marilyn Manson and started wearing all black trying to scare the kids away from me because I just wanted to be left alone. One day I even painted my face half black and half white and went into school. I was trying to protect myself by putting up walls in my life not wanting to get close to anyone because of my fear of getting hurt. I was absolutely miserable and never wanted to go into school.
My middle school days soon came to an end and my parents wanted me to continue going to a catholic high school, but I fought with them and told them that if they made me go I would cause all kinds of problems . My relationship with my parents wasn't so great after this, but finally I got my way and started going to a public school. During my freshmen year I met several kids that were just like me and found more acceptance among them. I was still a very angry kid though and listened to bands like the Deftones, Godsmack, and System of a Down and would scream along with them trying to release some of the anger I had pinned up inside. Music was my life, and was one of the only ways I could find an escape from my problems.
Going into the summer after my sophomore year was bad news. My best friend had been dating this girl for about a year and over that time I became really close to both of them. I found myself in the middle of their relationship listening to them talk about each other. Well, they broke up that summer and I found myself divided. After their break up I did one of the dumbest things I have ever done in my life. I turned my back on my best friend and started hanging out with his girl all the time. I grew very close to her because she was one of the only girls that had ever shown love to me before, and all of us are searching for love and someone with open arms to accept us.
Almost towards the end of the summer she had to move away and this tore me apart and turned my world upside down. I hated everything. I didn't want to live. I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. I had lost one of the only things I had ever cared about, and I felt completely empty inside. I was at a very low point, and I turned to drugs to escape what my life had become. I started getting high everyday, trying to smoke as many times as I could, hoping to numb all my feelings and the pain I felt inside. I became so used to being high all the time that when I was sober I felt really spaced out and angry. Smoking weed was no longer about getting high anymore but about coming back to my reality and feeling normal again. I soon moved on to trippin acid, eating shrooms, snorting k and doing ecstacy. I started stealing money from my parents and from my little sister to get high. The drugs were beginning to take over my life, and all I thought about was getting high and how I could stay high.
My drug use soon caught up to me at a rave I was at. I came to the realization that ecstasy was fake happiness and love. When the drugs had worn off and I had come down where was all the love? The love I was attracted to wasn't real. All these people that were so loving and kind while they were on drugs weren't the same when they were sober, and neither was I. I desired real genuine love that wasn't fake. So I left that party inspired not to do hardcore drugs ever again, and I started appreciating what raves are really about: the music, dancing, and meeting people. I still continued to smoke weed everyday though, because I couldn't handle life completely sober. I didn't have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I still felt completely empty inside; not satisfied by anything this world had to offer.
One day during my Senior year one of my good friends Grace asked me if I would go watch her sing at church. I was very reluctant at first because of all my bad experiences in catholic school. But I decided to go with her anyway. While I was watching her sing, I was amazed by how happy she was. She wasn't on drugs or anything, and she was still happy. I began to wonder how this was possible. I continued to go to church with her after this day because I knew she had something that I didn't.
After several months everything came together on a retreat I went on with Crossroad's Christian Church. On that retreat I was totally miserable and didn't know what to do with my life. I knew there had to be more to life than getting high all the time. I knew I needed a change in my life, because drugs were leading me nowhere. I was very scared of opening up to people at first because all my life I had kept all of my feelings bottled up inside. I was still scared of being made fun of and rejected. Over time these walls began to come down. I started to open up with my problems and became vulnerable to people so that they could help me. The love and acceptance I was shown gave me a glimpse of God's love for me.
At the end of the retreat, I realized that God was true happiness and true love. I realized that God was everything I was searching for and that nothing but God could fill the emptiness I felt in my heart. I admitted to him that he was the only way I was going to get off drugs and turn my life around and be happy. After realizing this, I asked God to come into my life. I felt the presence of God for the first time. It was as if he came over to me and put his hands on my shoulders and told me that everything was going to be alright if I continued to follow him. I knew it would not be easy but I heard God tell me not to worry about my drug addictions, all my anger, and all the pain I felt inside. He told me that he was bigger than my problems. I don't want to compare this feeling to drugs but the moment that I invited God into my life was better than any drug I had ever done; it was as if a huge burden was lifted off of my shoulders. God's goodness and love was poured out on me and it was the highest I had ever been. I went home after that retreat and never smoked weed again. My life wasn't perfect, but God was there working on me. I have been walking with God for a little over 4 years now, and they have been the best years of my life. The cool thing about God is that he works with you where you are. A lot of people think you have to be perfect and have it all together to come to God, but it is just the opposite. You come to God so that he can help you with your struggles and the things that you can't do alone. He has completely changed me from a hopeless drug addict into a new person.
The Bible says in the book of Romans Chapter 5 Verse 6, "that at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." What kind of love is this that Jesus would come and die for us when we don't deserve it at all? All of us have walked away from God and rejected him with our actions and fallen short of God's perfection, whether you have ever done something wrong even when you knew what was right or mistreated someone. I know I have. Since God is perfect and hates sin we cannot just come into his presence and be in a relationship with him because of our imperfection. God loves us but he is just and can not let our sin go unpunished. So basically Jesus came down and lived a perfect life without sin for us and was killed and punished in our place, even though he did not deserve it. He was the perfect sacrifice and atonement for our sins. He died on the cross to reconcile us back to God to restore what we once had with him before sin entered the world. This is how much God loves you; that he would come, suffer, and die at the hand of his own creation so that he could show his love for us, and we could be redeemed and made clean by the blood Jesus shed. God wants to bring you back into a loving, real, and meaningful relationship with him. He wants to bless your life and transform you into the beautiful person that you long to be. Another cool thing about God is that he allows you to make your own choices. True love is not forced upon you. It must be chosen. You cannot be made right with God by trying to be a good person. Only through Christ's sacrifice can you be made clean and spotless before God, not by a list of good works. God is willing to forgive you for everything that you have ever done no matter how wrong and for the mistakes you make after you begin to follow Christ if you just accept his invitation and invite him into your life. You definitely won't be disappointed when God shows up. You have nothing to lose by trying to seek God, but everything to gain. The highest high in this world is to experience God's love, mercy, and forgiveness.
Did you ever wonder why death hurts so badly? Its because it wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't in God's original plan. Ever since the fall of man God has been trying to rescue us and get us back on his perfect plan. Jesus conquered death for us and made us pure and spotless before God so that we would not have to be eternally separated from him. I don't think that anybody in this world knows what its like to be totally separated from God, whether you believe in him or not, because you still experience his goodness and love through his followers and through his beautiful creation. Imagine a world where there is no love and no goodness-that is Hell a world where God is not present. The choice is yours, though God is not going to force you to be with him forever if you don't want to.
You will make mistakes after you begin to follow Christ, but the key is to just keep getting back up. I am not perfect, and I have made many mistakes after I started following Christ. I learn from my mistakes though and I strive to walk the way that Jesus did. Once you start following Christ, he begins to transform you allowing you to walk as he did on this earth. He didn't say it would be easy but he does promise you a meaningful and abundant life. I don't have this life figured out, but God does, and he understands everything I am going through. I don't always understand God's ways and have all the answers to my questions but I trust him because he has so positively changed my life.
I used to worry about life not being exciting and adventurous. As I got older, I used to think that all life was going to school and getting a job you really didn't like too well. But thank God, he has a better plan than that. A plan to give you a life you never dreamed of full of purpose and fulfillment. Nothing this life has to offer will ever fill the void in your heart except God. Not drugs, money, relationships, success, having the best car, or anything in this world. All of these things are just temporary. Why not seek after a kingdom and a relationship that will last forever and not after your own selfish desires that will fade with time? Be a part of a story that is bigger than yourself, that God is inviting you into. I don't want you to reach the end of your life and realize that you have wasted it, chasing temporary pleasures that don't mean anything.
Jesus came not to condemn us, but to give us another chance. Following Christ starts here on this Earth, and not when you die. Accepting Christ is not just a get out of Hell free card. If you want more information about Christ check out the wisdom section on my website www.djmessenjah.com I will have more real life stories and lessons I have learned while walking with Christ. If you just want to talk go to the contact section of the website and email me. Hey you all, please take the time to check out Christ. I want you all to find what I have found because it is so beautiful. I know how unhappy I was and I don't want anybody to feel the same way I used to. I am just trying to present an honest real life story about God and how he changed my life. God loves you all more than you will ever know. God is real. Take a chance.
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January 28
1. Far Away
Russ Walker on Keys and Bass
Kimba Bush on Vocals
Chris Barbee on Sax
2. Spring Funk
William Jackson III on Keys, Bass, and Organ
Chris Barbee on Sax
Matt Dillinger on Trumpet
John Futch on Guitar
3. Should Be on the Floor Dancin'
Aaron Sawyer on Guitar
Russ Walker on Clavinet and Keys
Chris Barbee on Sax and Bongos
Kimba Bush on Vocals
4. Funk Jam
Troy Bowman on Bass
Kevin Thompson on Wah Guitar
Chris Barbee on Sax
Matt Dillinger on Trumpet
Russ Walker on Keys
Jon Fox on Guitar
5. Get Loose
Sanford Pinkston on Keys, Lead and Bass
Kimba Bush on Vocals
Ajeania Green on Vocals
6. Beautiful Soul
Scott Lashinsky on Guitar and Bass
Russ Walker on Keys
Chris Barbee on Sax
Steve Edens on Strings
7. Spread Love
Sanford Pinkston on Bass
Russ Walker on Organ and Lead
Kimba Bush on Vocals
8. Weather Channel
Russ Walker on Electric Piano and Bass
Chris Barbee on Sax
John Futch on Guitar
Raleigh Dailey on Piano/Strings
Jon Fox on Guitar Effects
9. Drop a little Jazz
Raleigh Dailey on Piano
Kevin Thompson on Bass
Russ Walker on Organ
Kimba Bush on Vocals
Chris Barbee on Sax
Dave Meyer on Guitar
10. Hazy Day
Troy Bowman on Bass
Chris Barbee on Sax
Kevin Thompson on Keys
Scott Lashinsky on Guitar
11. Shooting Star
Scott Lashinsky on Bass
Kevin Thompson on Strings and Lead
Aaron Sawyer on Guitar
12. My Story
Kevin Thompson on Guitar, Bass, and Vocals
Aaron Sawyer on Spacy Guitar
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Check me out!
dork
really nice music! so cool! i cud relax at the office
listening to this stuff!
posted 1 week ago
Eli Burford
Love your music. Keep up the good work.
posted Jul 23
cheesychuckie
what a fabulous idea!!! sharing your music. may the
Lord bless you with a hundredfold of what you've given
away.Ü
posted Apr 24
thelovelylia
I really look up to you for what you have done. The
trials you\'ve been through and how you have overcome
them with the Lord. Your obvious love for music and for
people is inspiring. Your music is truly amazing and I
wish you the best. Love.
posted Nov 15
JoAko
hi!! im a fan in your work dude! here, in mexico your
music is similar of \"telefunka\" songs and it
rulez perfect balance.... but i just listen the
instrulemntal sessions, (i dislike hip hop!) LUCK!
posted Oct 26
taydog
st.germain is in the house
posted Sep 13
Portland97267
Hey Dude this is Michael Paxton frpm YGA I like your
profile...Hope to see you soon
posted Jul 04